The tapping on the trap door was incessant. Wearily opening a single eye Laura gauged the distance between the only access for fresh air in the attic and her eventual route to freedom from this claustrophobic, smothering tomb. Her now massive pregnancy made movement arduously slow and awkward. Every inch ached, even her bones.
“Go away.” Her voice rasped from disuse and limited access to water. The knocking increased.
“Laura?” Beth’s muffled voice filtered through the cracks around the ill fitting trap door. “Laura?!” Her sudden panic was amplified by the pounding on the door. “Open the door! Laura, please!”
~*~*~
This lovely bit of lethargy brought to you courtesy of Velvet Verbosity and her 100 Word Challenge. This week, to shake things up, she gave us a feeling instead of just a word. We were challenged to write: a descriptive piece about being utterly drained, tired, exhausted, [insert other synonyms for tired here]. In 100 words of course.
I give you the joys of pregnancy and all the exhaustion therein
This is part of Loved, Labored, Lost
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August 3, 2012 at 9:45 am
Hey I really enjoyed this! Sounds like something straight out of WWII. Great work!
August 3, 2012 at 9:48 am
Well, it’s not specifically set in that time period but close…maybe the 50′s or 60′s
thanks for reading
August 2, 2012 at 5:31 am
It’s a nice, tight piece, but as a first time reader of “Laura’s” experience, I am left puzzled by why she’s there and why she doesn’t just open the door.
I would have prefaced this piece with an explanation that this was part of a continuing story.
August 2, 2012 at 6:24 am
Thanks for the comments Lou. Perhaps in the future I’ll have a sentence at the beginning mentioning it is part of a serial work.
August 1, 2012 at 5:04 pm
I haven’t been around ComputerLand much lately… What in the Hell’s going on with poor Laura!!!</b?
August 1, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Well, I screwed up that bold print, didn’t I?
July 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm
I love your discriptions.. You pull me in with your words.
July 31, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Thanks for the comment
Being more descriptive is something I am working on all the time
July 31, 2012 at 5:44 am
Claustrophobic heat and pregnancy… not a good combination. You captured her physical and emotional exhaustion very well.
July 30, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Heat, lack of water. Troubles brewing. Why is she in the attic in the first place? I’ll be waiting for more.
July 31, 2012 at 1:37 pm
yeah, I really should get to that part, shouldn’t I? I do such a round about way of storytelling
August 1, 2012 at 9:07 am
Hahah. It works out in the end though.
July 30, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Ugh. The idea of being in a hot attic and fully pregnant is just so horrifying! I want to reach into the story and drag her out of there, put her in a bed with a cool breeze coming in through open windows. Poor thing.
July 30, 2012 at 5:40 pm
If you ever expand this I like rewriting the sentence:
“Her voice rasped from disuse and dehydration” Because you like me and I’m a nerd for alliteration?
I like how you capture her exhaustion. Very well written, Carrie.
July 31, 2012 at 1:36 pm
oooh, I like that…will have to edit it
July 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm
That was another excellent post today. You make it look so easy. Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading it very much. Have a wonderful day!
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July 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm
I have enjoyed the little snippets of Laura’s story.
July 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Oh no! Trouble’s coming her way. I hope she can get out.